( I want to play! )
April 9th, 2010
July 29th, 2009
I want to learn how to drive.
I learned how to shoot a gun.
I learned how to make rock salt shells.
I've been thinking an awful lot. Malachi and I should go do something. He's not big on doing things, he kind of wants to sit around and make sure I'm okay. I got a big nice bruise on my hip from falling over while I was trying to learn to skateboard. I'm perfectly fine. Breakable, but perfectly fine. I think it's time to get a foot ahead in this stupid game we're playing. Everyone is getting restless, but everyone is afraid to move. I'm not. We're leaving.
I learned how to shoot a gun.
I learned how to make rock salt shells.
I've been thinking an awful lot. Malachi and I should go do something. He's not big on doing things, he kind of wants to sit around and make sure I'm okay. I got a big nice bruise on my hip from falling over while I was trying to learn to skateboard. I'm perfectly fine. Breakable, but perfectly fine. I think it's time to get a foot ahead in this stupid game we're playing. Everyone is getting restless, but everyone is afraid to move. I'm not. We're leaving.
June 19th, 2009
Dusty's personal journal.
Being human is coming easier, it's amazing how human I thought I was. Amitiel is here, Stella too. Everyone lost and scared. God help them please. I'm begging you to help them. I'll do anything it takes. Even if I never get back Home, or get my Grace back, and even if I eventually lose Malachi...Just make everyone okay. They don't know it yet, but I'm stronger than them. I can take more.
EDIT FROM THE NEXT DAY....I'm crazy. I'm just completely crazy. None of that even makes any sense anymore. No more alcohol right? Scared or not. NO MORE ALCOHOL. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO LOSE FAITH, DUSTY.
June 11th, 2009
OMG Dusty has a blog?! who gave her the internet?
I've been trying to find ways to be more productive. Or find things I like doing.
( Stuff Stuff Stuff )
( Stuff Stuff Stuff )
May 17th, 2009
April 19th, 2009
April 13th, 2009
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
Back in Nebraska, it's not to shabby here, so far so good on the hunter front. I'm practically keeping Malachi in my pocket just in case. Stopped by the Roadhouse, things sure do change quickly around here. The girl is amazing, she's absolutely darling and a joy to be around. It was nice to see Jo again too. I like to think one day we'll be great friends and I can tell her my secret.
When I taught Sunday School in Florida about forty years ago there were some parents who told me that I had a way with their children and teaching them that they understood. Most were even surprised at how much they were learning from their kids! I think that Jo Harvelle already has that down, just watching her with her daughter you can tell that she learns as much from Madeline every day as Madeline learns from her. It's a fascinating dynamic to watch. That bond between a Mother and her child.
I've been praying a lot lately, attempting to give Malachi a break from my constant rambling. I am always shocked by humans who pray and pray and can't see the gifts and answers God gives them, and the humans who pray, get what they want, see it and then stop talking to God. Prayer isn't an art form, it's not something you do when you're desperate, it's something you do when you want to talk to your Father. When you want to feel close to something bigger than yourself, and understand that there is so much more the best thing you can do is pray.
I don't think Malachi prays anymore (I'm almost positive of it. I wish I could read his mind!!!), I don't think he believes God is still listening to him. I don't disagree with Malachi on many things, and I'd never get him out of his comfort zone, I'd never force him to do anything he didn't want to do. But...I honestly believe that as much as Malachi has missed home, and suffered in the absence of our Father...I'm sure God has missed his voice as well. Belief and faith are two different things, and I see every day people who believe in God but have no faith. It would all be easier if those who are lost could believe in things like children. One day maybe I'll get Malachi to pray with me. I won't push him, but I won't agree with the sentiment that God stopped listening either.
Malachi, if you ever snoop through this, first of all, hi (and by the way you can totally snoop through this anytime you want). And if you ever feel lost in a way that I can't help you I want you to remember that God hasn't stopped hearing your voice. Child-like faith is all that God desires in the way we pray. Don’t worry about how you phrase your prayer. It’s your voice that God longs to hear. I love you! -Dusty.
Back in Nebraska, it's not to shabby here, so far so good on the hunter front. I'm practically keeping Malachi in my pocket just in case. Stopped by the Roadhouse, things sure do change quickly around here. The girl is amazing, she's absolutely darling and a joy to be around. It was nice to see Jo again too. I like to think one day we'll be great friends and I can tell her my secret.
When I taught Sunday School in Florida about forty years ago there were some parents who told me that I had a way with their children and teaching them that they understood. Most were even surprised at how much they were learning from their kids! I think that Jo Harvelle already has that down, just watching her with her daughter you can tell that she learns as much from Madeline every day as Madeline learns from her. It's a fascinating dynamic to watch. That bond between a Mother and her child.
I've been praying a lot lately, attempting to give Malachi a break from my constant rambling. I am always shocked by humans who pray and pray and can't see the gifts and answers God gives them, and the humans who pray, get what they want, see it and then stop talking to God. Prayer isn't an art form, it's not something you do when you're desperate, it's something you do when you want to talk to your Father. When you want to feel close to something bigger than yourself, and understand that there is so much more the best thing you can do is pray.
I don't think Malachi prays anymore (I'm almost positive of it. I wish I could read his mind!!!), I don't think he believes God is still listening to him. I don't disagree with Malachi on many things, and I'd never get him out of his comfort zone, I'd never force him to do anything he didn't want to do. But...I honestly believe that as much as Malachi has missed home, and suffered in the absence of our Father...I'm sure God has missed his voice as well. Belief and faith are two different things, and I see every day people who believe in God but have no faith. It would all be easier if those who are lost could believe in things like children. One day maybe I'll get Malachi to pray with me. I won't push him, but I won't agree with the sentiment that God stopped listening either.
Malachi, if you ever snoop through this, first of all, hi (and by the way you can totally snoop through this anytime you want). And if you ever feel lost in a way that I can't help you I want you to remember that God hasn't stopped hearing your voice. Child-like faith is all that God desires in the way we pray. Don’t worry about how you phrase your prayer. It’s your voice that God longs to hear. I love you! -Dusty.